What is a dominatrix - common misconceptions

as a dominatrix i am often asked what it is i actually do and upon hearing many draw their own conclusions as to what this may entail.

many assume a dominatrix is an escort, prostitute or just someone that bullies and belittles their subjects. yes, dominatrix work falls under the sex work umbrella, however this does not mean you will have sex with your dominatrix or mistress in a professional setting nor otherwise. if intercourse and intimate company is what you are seeking you need a different kind of sex worker.

lifestyle dommes and pro dommes are not the same. pro dommes are exactly how it reads, professionals in the field of bdsm and lifestyle dommes live the life everyday regardless of any income it may or may not bring in.

for example, a ls domme would choose where her submissives fit into their everyday life. she may decide to use one solely for her domestic choirs, to chauffeur or a living atm and another to please her sexually, objectify or use as and when she sees fit. in an ideal situation both the domme and sub would have discussed the terms of any bounadaries and expectations around servitude in their personal dynamic.

a pro domme provides a service for those who wish to explore their fantasies and escape their realities. our terms and boundaries are never up for discussion but are personal, so there is a domme for every sub out there.

we are payed for our time and the fantasy ends at the door. we are not your girlfriends or wives but good connections can make ever lasting friendships in my experience.

so what is a dominatrix?

well, in simple terms a dominatrix is a dominating woman who assumes the sadists role in sadomasochistic sexual activities or play. to dominate something or someone is to control/influence the subject. this control can be physical, psychological or both. though there is a sexual element to this type of play, sexual gratification is not the aim. every domme and their boundaries are different.

in the professional field of a dominatrix or pro domme we are educated in safe, sane and consensual (ccs) bdsm practices. anyone requesting anything outside of these boundaries is likely to be dismisses and blacklisted. these learned practices or techniques are then used to satisfy a clients kinks and desires. or on the flip side their kinks and desires are often used against them for more precise control or training. most men think with their cocks, as a result they will often objectify and abuse the very source of their desires. women! most are also aware of this behaviour but sadly very few of those men come to see a dominatrix for this particular type of retraining.

many pro dommes study psychology and if they haven’t i would highly recommend it. psychology is relevant to all aspects of ones life, the submissive mind and what makes it tick is no different. how else are we able to enchant and captivate minds and bring fully grown men to their knees? i can tell you now it’s most definitely not what you imagined it was!

for the most part the scenario that unfolds between a domme and her submissive is a clothed female, naked male one. this for me is a ritualistic practice used to set the dynamic and strip a sub of not only his clothes but his ego, entitlement and self proclaimed authority or power. it’s a rebirth so to speak, to re-programme him for the wants and needs of his superior. in this case, the dominatrix. this objectification is consensual (though, personally, i would not see you clothed), a courtesy most men do not bestow on their counterparts.

to summarise, pro dommes are not here to serve you sexually!

another misconception i often hear is, why do all dommes hate men?

my answer to this is quite simple. if we hated men so much why would spend so much time correcting their negative behaviours and ultimately make them better humans?

its no secret that men have objectified woman since the beginning of time. it’s deeply ingrained in the female psyche to obey and perform our roles quietly. this narrative has been pushed through religion, passed down from generation to generation, encouraged in the work place and so the examples go on. women are dominated in almost aspect of their own lives but the tables are turning. women are waking up and rising. being equals won’t be the benchmark for long, we want to dominate!

in my opinion dominating all men, all of the time just isn’t a realistic viewpoint. of course there are varying viewpoints on the idea. for me, taking away their choice makes us no better than them. the gift of submission is a choice. some men simply choose to be dominant as some women simply choose to submit. the key word here is choice. educating men and bringing awareness to their dictating, overbearing, self given authority and entitlement is the only way forward.

shifting negative behaviours back onto them using precise and rational psychology as opposed to irrational reactions is a much better approach for them to correct those errors long term.

we do not hate men, we simply wish to educate them. so when you enter our domains leave your ego and shame at the door. pay attention and you may leave with a greater understanding of your place..

love always, amour